Just a little bit o'fun
by Anne Nonymus
Summary: Takes place in S2. Cora is still alive and a threat to Storybrooke. Amidst preparations for a battle royal against Cora, Ruby realizes that Emma needs to have some fun. Extended matchmaker mischief with a bit of Frankenwolf on the side.
1. All work and no play

**A/N: I took advantage of my musie being around, unfortunately she's being stubborn about completing my other stories. Not sure if this is gonna be a one shot or a few chaps yet. I'm hoping to finish the next chapter for _Songs for the Savior_ by tomorrow, Wednesday at the latest. Then _Choices we make_. Then I'll think about whether or not I'm gonna extend this. Hope y'all enjoy it though. I have fun writing Ruby as a mischief maker and a Captain Swan shipper. **

**Disclaimer: no, I do not own Once Upon a Time, any of its characters or storylines. They belong to the luck pucks at ABC and Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz.**

"Ruby, you're a life saver!" Emma greets her friend enthusiastically as she enters her office bearing Emma's lunch delivery. "Thanks!"

"I just brought you your usual burger, fries and ice tea," grinned Ruby as Emma practically grabbed the bag from her and almost ripped it open to get at her food. "Figured that would be okay since you didn't call in an order, or drop by the diner for lunch."

Emma mumbled something utterly incoherent as she stuffed her mouth full of burger.

"Good is it?" Ruby chuckled as her friend continued to 'wolf' down her food.

"Amazing as usual Ruby," Emma was finally able to speak, taking a deep pull of her ice tea to help her chew and swallow faster. "Sorry I didn't get to call, this morning has been nuts with Cora sightings, and magic lessons with Regina. I'm eating at my desk so I can get through as much of this damned paperwork as I can before I have to be at the cabin for sword fighting lessons with David. After that-"

"Whoa Emma, slow down girl," cautioned Ruby, watching as Emma continued to eat like she was trying to win a contest. "You're either gonna give yourself indigestion or choke. I don't see a timer around anywhere, why don't you take some time with your food. I mean, it isn't called lunch _hour_ for nothing."

"Can't," she mumbled, squeezing the words around a mouth full of fries this time. "Don't have time. After sword fighting lessons, I gotta pick up Henry and take him to the stables to visit with his horse. I promised him. Then we go home and I do whatever paperwork that I don't get finished here-"

"Geez, what do you do for fun?" Asked Ruby, looking upon her friend in consternation. Ever since she has discovered that Hook and Cora had made their way back to Storybrooke, Emma had been going non stop. She had managed to win her second confrontation with Cora by once more accidentally invoking her magic. Cora managed to slink away again, and a few people who were helping Emma had been injured, including David and Hook, who decided to pledge his loyalty to Emma. The injuries were minor, but it spurred Emma into doing whatever was necessary to be prepared for her next battle with the witch, determined to end Cora once and for all. To almost everyone else in the town, Emma was finally coming into her own as the saviour, becoming the leader and protector that they believed she could be. Outwardly, she was confident, calm, commanding and clever, conferring with both Rumplestiltskin and Regina to create protocols for the next time that Cora decided to curse them with a visit, and she was taking lessons to make sure that she was able to fight both physically and with her magic. But to those closest to Emma, they could see the toll it was taking on her. With her duties as Sheriff and her preparations for Cora, she was running herself ragged.

Lost in thought and concern for her friend, Ruby suddenly looked to her and realized Emma had finished her lunch and was scrunching up all of the remnants and stuffing it into the paper bag Ruby brought it in.

"Thanks again Ruby, that's exactly what I needed." Emma gave her a quick smile before returning to her paperwork.

"You didn't answer my question." Ruby persisted.

"What question was that?" She muttered, not looking up from what she was scribbling.

"What do you do for fun?" Ruby repeated, emphasizing every word.

"I'll worry about that after Cora is gone for good," she sighed.

Ruby took another good look at Emma and wasn't pleased with what she saw. The way Emma kept cracking her neck from side to side told Ruby that she was so tense her muscles could snap in half. The dark circles under Emma's eyes spoke of long nights unable to sleep. She had lost weight, the angles of her jaw sharpened, her cheeks hollowed despite the eating frenzy that Ruby just witnessed. She knew that if she asked Emma the last time she ate before Ruby brought her lunch, she would be hard pressed to answer the question. The poor woman was carrying the weight of the world, or at least all of Storybrooke, and if she kept going at this pace, she would run herself into the ground. She may be the saviour, but someone needed to remind Emma that she was also very human.

"You need to get laid." Ruby announced, her hands on her hips, daring Emma to argue.

"What?" She sputtered in surprise, her head jerking up.

"You heard me," Ruby said haughtily, biting the inside of her cheek to stop herself from laughing. "Emma, while I appreciate everything you're doing to keep all of us safe and all of the prep work you're doing for your next battle royal with the wicked bitch of the west Cora, this can't be your entire life. You are inches away from burning out. You need some fun in your life, or at the least, some stress relief."

"Hook put you up to this?" Emma grunted, her attention returning to the file in front of her.

"Funny how I mention getting laid and the first guy you think of is Hook," This time Ruby couldn't help but laugh at the death glare her friend shot her. "Oh come on Em, even you have to admit the guy is panty dropping hot. Those mesmerizing blue eyes, the chiseled body underneath that flouncy shirt and those yummy leather pants of his that show off his...assets in the most delicious way, and his smile-god how do you manage to not rip off all his clothes and ride him like a roller coaster when he grins at you the way he does?"

"I have something called self restraint." Emma dead panned.

"You mean self denial," muttered Ruby. "Seriously Em, all of this prep work and heavy drama aren't good for you. When was the last time you went on a date or even did something that wasn't related to your sheriff duties or getting ready for Cora?"

"I have fun..." Emma mumbled, though Ruby was right. She hadn't done anything in recent memory closely resembling fun, or even for herself.

"I call bullshit!" Declared Ruby, knowing that she had Emma on the ropes. "Why won't you let Hook do with you what you've probably wanted to do from the day you two met? I mean, okay...he is Captain Hook and he has a reputation, but seriously, he seems to be behaving for the most part. And he took your side over Cora, even got himself injured. And from what I can tell, he's really into you. I mean if a guy looked at me the way Hook looks at you, at the very least I'd have jumped him if not marry him by now."

"Marry Ruby, really?" Scoffed Emma, her eyebrow raised. Yet there was something in Emma's tone, and a flicker in her eyes that Ruby couldn't help but wonder about. "I can't even stand to be in the same room as the guy. He's arrogant, insufferable, cocky, thinks he's god's gift to women and that we should all worship at his feet and mud wrestle naked for his attention."

"Oh...I get it," Ruby smirked knowingly and sat on the arm of the chair in front of Emma.

"Get what?" Emma bristled.

"You're afraid of what you feel for him," Ruby answered with unwavering certainty. "I mean, all you have to do is read between the lines of your Hook rant. You like him, but you don't want to be another one of the notches on his belt. You think that if you finally give in to him, he won't be interested anymore. If it makes you feel better, I don't think that he'd treat you that way. He seems to genuinely like you."

"Ruby, where the hell do...how can you think that he and I...stop it." Emma growled, frustrated at being flustered at the idea that someone figured out the feelings that she had been trying to hide, apparently in vain.

"Hmmmm...you seem a bit touchy for someone who claims to be unaffected by our dear pirate," Ruby couldn't help but laugh at the subsequent glare aimed at her by the Sheriff. "Okay, so you don't want to address the physical chemistry between you and Hook yet. What about just going for drinks and letting loose?"

Emma sent her another look, another one that said volumes.

"Yeah, okay...no way that drinks with Hook wouldn't lead to bed," she concurred. "Remind me again, why is that a bad idea?"

"I thought that you were advising against more drama?" Emma reminded her. "Can you imagine David's reaction to your suggestion? Not to mention Mary Margaret. And don't forget his fan club of insipid women who do nothing but follow him around and fawn over him."

"Aw, you sound jealous," giggled Ruby. "Okay fine, no more talk of Hook. What about just going out on a date with someone? Giving yourself a bit of a break-slash-night off isn't going to kill you, matter of fact, I'll bet it'll do you a world of good. You do remember what a date is, right? Have a drink, have dinner and a chat, and a laugh at the very least. Although I still happen to be a proponent of the restorative powers of sex."

"If I go on a date with someone will you promise to drop the subject?" Sighed Emma.

The only answer Emma got from her was a high pitched squeal, which she took as yes.

"Okay, let's see, who would be good for you to go out with," mused Ruby, tapping her chin thoughtfully as she went through her mental roladex for eligible men. "Jefferson is single isn't he? And he is kinda cute."

"Yeah, he's not bad looking, if you overlook the bat shit crazy in him." She reminded Ruby. " The absolute last thing I need right now is batshit craziness."

Seeing the look of concentration on Ruby's face at the idea of finding someone for Emma, she couldn't help but have a little fun at her friend's expense.

"There Dr. Whale, I guess," Emma pretended to muse. "He's single and not bad looking."

"Oh...you're interested in him?" Ruby asked, trying to look non chalant. "I mean, yeah he is single I suppose, but then again he did have a one night stand with your mother. I honestly don't see how a date with him wouldn't be a hundred kinds of awkward and weird. Just sayin."

"Ruby, if you like Dr. Whale, just say so," grinned Emma. "I wouldn't go out with him if you want him."

"Ok, yeah I like him," Ruby admitted. "He just so funny, and so cute, and sweet, and he just gets me, you know? And the whole thing about me being a wolf doesn't faze him at all. He's been hinting about asking me out, and I was thinking about hinting to him that I'd say yes."

"You should," nodded Emma. "You two would be good together."

"Wait, what about you?" Ruby persisted. "We were talking about your non existent love life missy."

"We are talking about Storybrooke Ruby, not a lot of eligible bachelors," Emma reminded her. "Most of the people here are already with someone."

"Except you and Hook," Ruby couldn't help but add. At Emma's nonplussed look, Ruby dropped the subject of the princess and the pirate-for now.

"What about that guy who runs the tow service...what's his name, Michael?" Ruby suddenly remembered. "He's five kinds of cute, has his own business and his kids are friends with Henry. He could be fun."

"Someone mention me?" A familiar accented voice drifted towards her office. All too soon the previously mentioned pirate was making himself comfortable in the sheriffs office, planting himself against her desk.

"Nope, didn't mention a pain in the ass at all." Emma retorted, gathering up her files and glancing at her clock. She had to leave to meet David soon or risk throwing her whole schedule into chaos.

"Ah princess, I did hear the word _fun_," Killain beamed his smile at her. "And I am quite _fun_. I would gladly show you how much _fun_ I can be."

"As _fun_ as this conversation is, I have somewhere else to be." Huffed Emma, gathering her things, and throwing them into her messenger bag.

"We're not done with our conversation Emma." Ruby warned as Emma shuffled them out the door.

"Yeah, I figured," she sighed, locking the door behind her after making sure that Ruby and Hook were outside. "I'll call you tonight."

"If you don't, I'll call you." Ruby called after her, watching as Emma hurried to her car.

"Is everything alright with Emma?" Hook asked Ruby, and she was happily not surprised to find his concern genuine. "She seems...weary."

"Are you worried about her?" Ruby teased.

"Yes," he replied plainly, his sights still focused on the space that Emma's car had recently vacated. "I am very aware of what happens when you become single minded on a mission. When nothing else matters but achieving your objective. It consumes you, to the detriment of everything else. She does not deserve this. I know that she is the savior, that the safety of everyone in this town is her responsibility, but I can see her suffering for it, even if she denies this."

Ruby was actually surprised at the depth of feeling she heard in Hook's voice. She could see that there was something going on between them. Hell, you'd have to be...well...you'd have to be either Emma or Killian to miss it.


	2. Cupid in a Red Hood

**A/N: Well, so much for this being a one shot. Let's try for a 3 shot the, shall we? Here's the continuing story of a friend's well intentioned interference in the love life of her good buddies. Also includes a wee bit of Franken Wolf.**

**Enjoy.**

**And thanks to those who are following this story, and who have favorited and reviewed. Mwah!**

**Disclaimer: Guess what? I just bought...the second season DVD set of Once Upon a Time, and that is as close to owning the show as I'll ever get. It's actually owned by the mad geniuses Ed Kitsis and Adam Horowitz and the fu…fortunate people of the ABC Network. **

Ruby had nearly everything all set. The only thing left was to get help from her favourite mad scientist-slash-doctor, and really that was a piece of cake.

She rang the doorbell and clasped her hands behind her back coquettishly, knowing that he would appreciate how it made her breasts that much more prominent.

"Hey there gorgeous," he smiled widely as he opened the door. "What brings you to my neck of the woods?"

"Well Doctor, I was wondering if I could enlist your assistance?" she smiled, biting her bottom lip.

"And how may I be of help Miss Lucas?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow and leaning in towards her.

"I happen to be looking for a special someone; someone fearless, with a sense of mischief and adventure. Someone clever, willing to be a little bit naughty and most of all, willing to do _whatever_ I need him to do," she gazed into his eyes and pouted.

"Are you aware of anyone that fits that description….Doctor?"

She closed the gap between them, brushing her nose along his jaw, ghosting her peppermint breath along his lips, before pulling back slightly.

"Why Miss Lucas, I believe you've found exactly who you're looking for." Victor replied breathily, his eyes darkened and dazed.

"This is going to be so," Ruby answered, enunciating every word slowly with her red painted lips. "So…much…FUN."

Hours later, Victor finds himself in the woods, hunched over and trying desperately to keep his balance, his muscles shaking with exertion, panting every time he remembers to take a breath, sweat beading across his skin causing him to shiver as the cool night air caresses it.

"Just a little bit more Victor," urges Ruby breathily into his ear. "A little more…"

He throws himself even more into what he's doing, struggling to keep focus, taking a second to wipe the sweat off his brow.

"Almost there Victor!" presses Ruby. "So close! Don't stop!"

With a snarl and a roar, he pushes his entire weight into it, determined to finish what he started when he felt himself falling away. Suddenly, Ruby pulled him to her, yelling jubilantly,"Yes that's it! You got it!"

"Oh thank god!" he sighs, gripping her tightly in his arms, taking a minute to catch his breath. "I thought I was gonna pass out for a second there."

"You did so good Victor, so good." murmured Ruby, running her hands soothingly up and down his back.

"Yeah?" Victor couldn't help the smile on his face as he absorbed the woman's praise.

"Oh my god Victor," she gasps, pulling away slightly before giving him a giggle. "You absolutely defied my expectations!"

"Ruby, when you said you wanted someone willing to do whatever you needed them to do, and that it would be fun, this is not what I had in mind." sighed Victor, wiping the sweat off his brow.

"And just what were you picturing Doctor?" she grinned mischievously.

"First of all, I pictured us naked, and there a lot less boulders involved," he grunted, peering over the edge of the ridge they were on to the boulder they had pushed over it to block the entrance. Okay, it was mostly Ruby that did the pushing, but she was the one with the wolfie powers, and he did help. "And while I expected some physical exertion, I hadn't anticipated the risk of getting a hernia."

"Oh come on Victor," Ruby laughed, caressing his cheek affectionately. "You and I are together, isn't that what matters?"

"No, it isn't," he retorted, slowly rising to his feet and stretching as a sudden realization of what they were really doing hits him like a freight train. They had blocked off the tunnels to the cavern under the library, and once they disabled the elevators, they'd be trapping two people in an underground cave. There were a number of things that could go wrong, and in a town like Storybrooke, they most likely will.

Sure, Emma had dispatched the former resident of the caverns, and he and Ruby had made sure that there were no other dragons or evil witches lurking about, but who knows what Regina may have hidden there. And oh yeah, they had a malevolent sorceress bent on destroying the town to take revenge on her so far formerly evil daughter. Sticking their saviour in what was tantamount to a glorified cave wasn't the most brilliant idea. And just because they made it difficult for the Sheriff and the Pirate to get out, it didn't mean that something could get in. Ruby reassured him that she could use her wolf hearing to make sure that they were okay, and that she and Victor would be in the library, practically steps away from the almost couple if they needed help. Besides, Emma was more than capable of handling trouble, and Killian would also be there to watch her back. It was no secret how protective he was of her.

Victor wished that he was as confident as Ruby was of her plan going off without a hitch. At best this all works out the way Ruby envisioned, and everyone is happy. Well, pretty much everyone except for David who might take issue with Ruby's end goal, but hey he's already on the Prince's shit list, so who cares. At worst…well he won't have to worry about villagers with torches and pitchforks. Most of the townspeople had guns and swords. And they would only be a concern if The Sheriff, her deadly pirate, the prince with a fondness for punching him in the face and the princess who was disturbingly accurate with a bow and arrow didn't get to him first.

"Victor, we're doing a good thing here," Ruby reassured him. "We're bringing together two people who are so glaringly, obviously meant to be together-_together_. What could be more romantic than that?"

"Gee, I don't know, how about not pissing off the Sheriff?" huffed Victor, dusting off his hands and standing up to stretch his back. It seemed a rather simple plan, block off their exit with some very large boulders. Then all they had to do was lure the Sheriff and Hook separately down into the caverns. Once the couple to be were as comfy as can be, Ruby and Victor would get the hell out of there and raise the elevator so that Killian and Emma couldn't use it. The oblivious couple would be trapped there until they were able to claw their way out, or Ruby - using her super special wolf hearing - was satisfied that they had finally ceased their denial of their true feelings.

"Emma will appreciate this…eventually." she smiled.

"Okay, have you met the woman?" he scoffed. "She and her father have hair trigger tempers, and I'm man enough to admit that she is damn scary when she's mad. I'd rather face her father. You're safe at least. You're her godmother and her mother's best friend. If this goes back to me Ruby-"

"I'll protect you," she reassured him, giving him a sweet kiss on the cheek. "Don't worry."

"So you're gonna protect me from Emma, what about the Scourge of the Seas?" Victor pressed, getting more nervous by the second, hoping that he could talk Ruby out of this. "I may not have been from your land, but even _I_ have heard of Captain Hook. He isn't the kind of guy you piss off Ruby, unless you want to die slowly in the most agonizing way possible."

"Killian is a sweetheart once you get to know him." she argued lightly.

"Oh really?" he retorted, feeling a slight pang of jealousy. Before the arrival of Captain Hook, Victor was considered the town stud. After all, pretty much all the other guys in town were unavailable. But then the pirate showed up, leaving women swooning in his wake.

"Relax Victor, he's totally into Emma," she laughed. "And I'm into a certain mad scientist."

"Ruby, we gotta call this off," he sighed. "I like where all my parts are."

She tilted her head as if to say 'really? you're going to wimp out on me now?' He wondered vaguely how he could have let her talk him into such a ludicrous plan. And then he saw her smile, and he had his answer.

"You owe me big time for this Rubes." he grumbled, though his glare softened as she laid a gentle peck on his lips.

"And believe me, I intend to pay you back." she murmured, her words brushing up against his lips. "But for now dear doctor," she grinned, pulling away. "We've got work to do."

**A/N 2: ok, so it was a bit more than a wee bit of Frankenwolf. Next chapter though, more Captain Swan to come...**


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